Thursday, June 25, 2009

Cryogenic Rapture

Friday started one second after midnight of Thursdays eve.
Apparently this happens on weekly basis.
It's been going on since time began...or at least since we have had Friday's following Thursday's.
What's this have to do with this post?
Absolutely nothing.
At the time I was sleeping and don't know what the hell was going on.
What's this all have to do with the Williams AZ trip everyone is waiting to hear about?
Not a damn thing.
Hell, even the title of this post has nothing to do with this day's actually applies to Saturday.
{I'm a regular friggin' suspence writer}
In case you missed it....At midnight..I was sleeping.
Pay attention!

I awoke at the crack of Nine-ish and headed out to my big two wheeler.
[OK so it's a sporty and most don't consider it big.....and it's not really mine...belongs to a Friend]
Abruptly I came to a halt.
I forgot to open the door.
Twisting the doorknob like a panheads twistgrip attached to a super E fuel mixer...[Poetic, Ain't it?]
I opened the door.
I walked over to the scoot and threw a leg over.
Flipped the switch and reached for the starter button.
Only to be interrupted by a loud yelling coming from the doorway.
'You need to get dressed first'
Ann had noticed I had no clothes on.
Damn! She's picky today.
So I had to start all over again...
Finally getting my shit together, We headed off to the wild blue....ummm
After a long drive..[5000 feet] We stopped at a house five streets up from ours and looked at a Black Cherry 99 Dyna.
Ann bought it and said Happy Fathers day!
Which I thought was strange...As Fathers day was on the upcoming Sunday.
But being graciously humble I didn't point that out to her.
{Yes I know..I'm wonderful like that}
Getting down the highway going up to get low in the AZ high country.
Like two Frito's diving into salsa con queso, we were a tasty pair..
{Try singing that one ,Dylan}
Stopping at the local HD dealer on the way, we bought the Harley museum archives book.
[Highly recommended]
Rumbling along [we were hungry] we opted to stop at the casino along the way.
After a hardy meal we cropdusted the casino isles.
Relived of the gastro-intestinal issues and recieving nasty looks from the patrons at the slot-machines, We got while the going was good.
Near Flagstaff it started to rain.
I had no jacket.
[if you weren't paying attention...I had some fabric related issues earlier in the day]
Bought a sweater-jacket at the Big 5 sports store.
I was toasty.......The rain stopped.
Finally arriving in Williams AZ.
The assistant police chief greeted us as we dismounted.
Apparently he hadn't ever heard a sporty with a nasty big block Chevy cackle.
He was impressed.
Registering for the Rumble. [I'm smart like that]
We proceeded towards our hotel.
Stopping at a stop sign because that's what your supposed to do.
[That's why it's called a stop sign..Dipshit]
I looked over and saw AZ Harley Dude and Linda stopped at the other stop sign.
{Why?.... you paying attention here?...I ain't explaining it again}
Saying Hello....Because that's what you do when you meet people.
We had a quiet talk on the sidewalk. It would have been ridiculous to yell loudly as we were just a couple feet from each other.
We agreed to meet later at the local watering hole.
I think it was misnamed because I didn't really see anybody drinking water.

I partook in some of Lynchburg Tennessee's finest liquid libation.
[Partook and libation in the same sentence...50 points..Yee-hah!]

Fuzzily watching Ann molest all the wooden animals in town and even seeing her attempt to give a pine cowboy statue a blow job.
Guessing wisely that she must need some wood.
I headed her off to the hotel.
Then came Saturday........


Ann said...

WTF?! Were you drunk last night???

Nice post, babe, but I'm beginning to worry about you...

Lady Ridesalot said...

Ann... your too funny!

Big D... I'm with ya bro. Nothing wrong with setting the scene before you tell your story.

Out with it!!

Arizona Harley Dude said...

Man you wax poetic Big D. Ain't been that much wax spread since they did that bikini job on Anna Nicole.

Dean "D-Day" said...

LMFAO!!! [That would be me laughing.]

Brother, you got my crying! [Tears interfer with your vision]

Sit still when your vision is impaired. [I just smacked my knee on the corner of the desk.]

Good post. [I enjoyed the read.]

mrs rc said...

Hysterical! You have a way of not telling us anything we didn't already know from Ann, Dave, BB, AHD, etc, and still making it entertaining. Great smile to set off my morning just right. :-)

FLHX_Dave said...

"Like two Frito's diving into salsa con queso, we were a tasty pair"....mwhahahahahah! Only you could come up with that.

See, at least you were naked when you started out. I made the mistake of sporting sock and boxers....I knew I was doing something wrong.

I'm looking for some video of you on the new bike. When your significant frito-other gets you a hog for father's day you know you're doing something right.

What did you do with the wood?

Mr. Motorcycle said...

Very clever and funny! I'm not so much worried about Big D., as i am about Ann trying to give a B.J. to a statue!

mq01 said...

giving some wood more wood, hmmm... attagirl ann ;)

awwwwhhhh, fritos in salsa... that is so sweet (or is that salty?!?)

LOL!! thanks for the smiles this AM

Willy D said...

Man, you have got to stop sitting in the garage with the bikes running and the door closed. That exhaust gona’ give you drain bamage!

B.B. said...

LMAO! You're going to make me pee my pants!

WooleyBugger said...

You should do standup ... or maybe that should be sit down in your inebriated state. We need another good story teller since George Carlin left us.

(Appearing this week at the Navada Hilton is Big Daddy. He's a sippin, a shitten and a gitten.)