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Tuesday, July 9, 2013

Bike Show


My name is Bill. I build custom bikes. I got a room full of trophies for first place and people's choice. Some are big and some are unique. In fact one is 45 pistol that is layered in gold and silver. The ammo is even silver plated jackets and solid gold bullets. And engraved on the stock it says 1st place peoples choice. Quite the piece. I carry it always.

Recently I entered a bike I spent two years building. Hand formed frame with intricate carvings on the engine, paint that goes a mile deep.

I looked around the showroom floor and knew I had them all beat.

Then over near the judges stand I saw it.

It was the most outstanding piece of work I or anyone else had ever seen. The frame was whittled out of solid billet by hand, the handlebars curved upward in sculptured harmony. the risers were made of solid Crystal.

The wheels had been formed of concentric circles that sparkled like diamonds. And the paint? Well, it looked like a multifaceted jewel . Giving the appearance of being transparent. The engine had been re-designed to produce 200 horsepower and still get 300 miles to the gallon. It was a marvel of engineering, what every builder strives for when working on a bike. This bike, I knew, would be the new standard and almost no-one would ever reach it.

The owner saw me and walked over to meet me. He handed me his card which upon looking, I saw he had a list of letters after his name that went around the entire card. PhD in engineering etc. Impressive.

The man was showing true humbleness and humility.

He was an extremely handsome man and had a body that looked like a Greek Adonis. Wrapped on his arms were two of the most beautiful women one ever got lucky enough to lay eyes on.

We spoke briefly and he spoke so eloquently that you couldn't help but listen. He wished me well and walked toward the Judges stand away from me. I knew I was out-classed and out of a chance to ever reach his kind of stature. I fell to one knee and realized this man truly deserved gold.


So I shot him in the Ass!!


7 comments:

Ann said...

Now THAT's funny!

Anonymous said...

Dude LLB,

Very funny story. Great page by the way, good reading.

Your #1 Fan! said...

Ok, that was different from some of the more serious reads you been scripting - but I agree - it was funny!! If you can't beat 'em, shoot 'em! LOL!

KT Did said...

Perfection, LOL. Sure would love some crystal risers though....

WooleyBugger said...

Never saw this one before, great one.

Webster World said...

Yeah! Up his ass.

Darren Scarboro said...

Funny story man, love reading your stuff. You got a cool style.

Trey