CLICK HERE FOR BLOGGER TEMPLATES AND MYSPACE LAYOUTS »

Sunday, November 25, 2007

Armegeddon


Hell has just frozen over, the end signs are here, Big Daddy put a windshield on his bike. These are the kind of remarks I've been hearing for that last two days. I don't understand how people can be so flippant about the world ending....How can it be ending? Well...........

I'm overly sensitive and cry easily. So as I ride along thinking about everybody picking on my windshield, I start to cry. The tears in my eyes make it difficult to see. I veer into the oncoming lanes while wiping my tears. The car in the oncoming lane swerves to miss me, thereby hitting a telephone pole. It falls across the lanes of traffic and starts a multi-vehicle pileup. A rig fully loaded with hazardous chemicals plows right into this melee of confusion and spills it's load. This causes the fire department and local police to respond. Upon arriving they call out the hazmat team to contain the spill. Being so close to Luke Air Force Base, homeland security is notified. Naturally, the base goes on high alert. Fighter planes start sweeping the sky. Over in Russia, the satellites spot this flurry of activity. They go on high alert and start circling their planes. This gets noticed by their allies in China and they respond in kind. Of course all this activity spooks the hell outta Japan and Israel. So up go those planes. Iran figures that since all the big players seem to be going defcon 1 they'd better get their shit together before bombs start falling on them. Meanwhile...... Diplomatic relations start trying to contact President Bush about what the hell is going on. Not having any brains to call his own, he decides he'd better call daddy and ask what to do. This causes Papa Bush to mutter to himself, "Oh, shit. What's my dip shit son gonna say stupid in public today?" He remembers that when Junior first started talking, that it freaked out mama Bush so bad her eyes popped and it became a permanent condition. All the while wondering how in the hell of all the swimmers he had, that was the fastest one that created him. He spends the next few hours trying to think of simple words that Junior can understand and pronounce.

The rest of the world now on on extremely high alert and not hearing anything from President Idiot decides his silence is evidence of a preemptve strike and in defense start launhing misslies at each other. This escalates into full blown nuclear war. Armegeddon has arrived. Mankind's day is over..............all because insensitive people picked on my windshield. Big Daddy

15 comments:

aaroneousmaximus said...

*(sniffle)* I'm weeping like a bitch too) *(sob)* to hear people made fun of you for putting a windshield on your bike. I thought swerving all over the raod and causing mass confusion is just how you are supposed to ride. I need some vagasil. Love Greg

Big Daddy said...

I gotta respond to this comment by A-rod Greg is a friend who rode with us up to lauglin and he can't ride in a straight line or maintain a steady speed to save his life. Also as a side note I got stung by bees twice on that trip. Greg rode my ass for 45 minutes in a resturant [if you hadda whindshield you wouldn't got stung etc...} Then apparently he had one in his shirt the whole time he was talking and it picked that moment to sting him...Instant karma lol

Ann said...

Love the story, D! You poor, poor baby!

BTW...Love the comment from 'Greg'! LMFAO!

Shannon said...

lol, hey grandpa (now that name means so much more then the given context of it) I was reading your blog when you called that's why I didn't answer...So here's your gosh dang comment. Well just give me some warning before you go causing a nuclear holocaust so I can build a nice bomb shelter.

Veronnica said...

Ha ha ha nice story and nice try, you're still an old grandpa! But really I could care less if you have a windshield or not! To each his own and if that's what you want, go for it Old Man! LOL! Love Ya!

Anonymous said...

a goddamn windshield? take that fuckin thing off! I haven't even seen it but i can just imagine how horrible it looks. whats next you gonna buy a fuckin rolling couch????

Anonymous said...

this is your oldest son by the way i keep forgetting to add my name at the end

Anonymous said...

ok just went to mama's blog and saw pics. take it off or i will be losing your number and e-mail address along with the shit i'm supposed to send for christmas!!!

Rex

that thing is hideous

Big Daddy said...

Truthfully I didn't want a windshield...I hate the way they look. but....it's freezing in the desert at 4 am. and I ride 365 days a year. So for the next 2 months or so.....

Big Daddy said...

BtW.. Rex, is the shit your sending say harley on it?

Ann said...

BTW Rex...try visiting Mama's blog again without leaving a fucking comment, pallie!!!!!!

MAMA

Simply Curious said...

Haha, picking on your windshield wasn't half as bad as being turned into an elf!! Lmao.

Anonymous said...

Thats some funny shit! Very good!

Jason

Mr. Motorcycle said...

Great story. Funny shit, and great imagination. Love the stuff about baby bush.

Big Daddy said...

BTW it's almost a year later....and I never did get my christmas presents.
I geuss he meant it :]