Friday, March 12, 2021

Talers Tales.

 Sitting on the curb facing Main street. Kickstand was telling his brother Masher who was attending the rally for the first time. 'You gotta meet some of the characters who come to this thing'

Masher replied I have been to rallies all over the world, I doubt I'll see anything I ain't seen before.

Your forgetting this is Florida my Brother.  This Place has it's own meme. Remember Florida man?  they didn't coin that term because of your run of the mill Whackjobs.  This state has it's own particular brand.  You'll see.

As if summoned an old grizzled Biker rolled up on a derelict panhead. Held together with mechanics wire and duct tape, Belching oil and smoke enough to solve any mosquito infestation for a week.

Kickstand Yelled over the to old man 'Hey Taler!'  Then looking back at Masher and quietly saying 'Exhibit A'

Taler pulled his bike next to the curb, Flipping the off switch with his thumb and reaching for the wooden stick strapped to the handlebars. In a well practiced motion stood the stick alongside the bike and wedged it against the seat post creating a makeshift kickstand.

Dismounting and shuffling up to Kickstand extending his arms to give a Brotherly hug.

Taler exclaimed 'Kickstand my old friend, What's shakin?' without waiting for a response he continued I'm gonna step over there to bar and grab a beer, be back in a jif.

While he was away Masher asked Kickstand  'Tailor?  what he's the clubs Haberdasher???'

Kickstand replied with a smirk and held up his hand ' No, Tale-er as in storyteller, Just wait.'

Taler returned and stood next to Masher watching the crowds walk on by

One particular Hot stacked blonde caught Mashers Focus

Taler leaned over a said quietly 'of all the girls here, That one you don't wanna go near.'

Why ever not? asked Masher.

She's been tried twice for manslaughter, Killed her Old man. said Taler


Yep, she suffocated her Husband to death between her thighs.

Yer shitting me!

Nope, the way I heard it. He came home extra late and drunk and crawled under the covers between her legs for a late night nibble.  No-one really knows if it was in the throes of passion or revenge. she clamped tight and Killed the poor bastard.

The state charged her with Manslaughter. two trials.

Two trials for the same offense, How?

The first was declared a mistrial, the second had a hung jury.

Masher glanced over at Kickstand and said 'This I gotta hear'

Well, the first trial was sensational as the prosecutor attempted a unheard of tactic.began Taler

He had a Gyno chair complete with stirrups brought into the courtroom based on the premise that the jury shoulds see the scene of the crime.

Bullshit, if that really happened it automatically would be a mistrial .replied Masher

No, not at all Remember Son you in Florida now, they do things differently down here.

That all went fine. The mistrial occurred when the a few of the Jurors kept asking to be allowed to 'Tour' the crime scene. Kept insisting really

Masher was speechless as his mind raced with the question is he pulling my leg?

As if he could hear Mashers thought's Taler said while walking over to his bike and throwing a leg over. True story. the second trial was just as bad for the DA.

Masher said 'So you told me, it ended in a hung jury. are they gonna try her again?

No, they can't as she was found innocent.

Wait a minute you just said it had a Hung jury!

Taler flicked a switch and stood up jumped the Old Panhead to life. remounted his wooden Sidestand, snicked it into gear while pulling out in a dense cloud of smoke, leaving Masher slack-jawed with his over the shoulder response.

It was. the entire Jury was made up of Chippendale dancers!